Software is now deeply embedded in our society, shaping how we live, work, and connect. As a result, understanding users and their interactions with technology is more crucial than ever. User-centered approaches have long been recognized as fundamental to requirements engineering. However, in an increasingly digital world driven by online interactions and AI, how effectively can we engage with users to understand their complex lived experiences and how software we design might affect them? How well are we equipped to grasp users’ values, preferences, and needs, which might be closely tied to or informed by their unique backgrounds, cultures, and life experiences?

In this talk, I highlight the importance of developing the skills, knowledge, and mindset necessary to co-design with, and alongside, the people we build for. Drawing on experiences in several software engineering projects focused on societal impact, I reflect on the challenges that expanded my own understanding and abilities as a requirements engineer. I explore the critical role that complementary skills of relationship-building, authentic empathy, perspective-taking, and cultural sensitivity play, particularly when differing viewpoints emerge. In today’s increasingly complex, technology-driven world, these skills are more important than ever. I advocate for a deeper awareness of how we engage empathetically with those we design for and collaborate with. This awareness is not only essential for achieving the desired impact of our work, but also for preventing unintended harm and exclusion.